bridges

sometimes the bridges you build end up in places that you never expected. just don't be afraid to land on a shore that you did not intend or an island that you weren't planning on visiting. just go with it, and your bridges will be the better for it. because when they veer off to unexpected detours, that's when your heart has taken over. and that is not such a bad thing.

sing

sing, o soul, of joy and wonder
for He reigns
and will walk beside you to the end.

run, my feet, along the sunbeams of laughter
where the burdens are small
and the steps are of tangible light
for He has taken your burdens and cares
and thrown them to the wayside.

dance, oh spirit, with the waves of thundering hosannas
where there is naught left
but to say Holy, Holy, Holy
for He sits in a cloud of unapproachable light
forevermore.

cry out, my heart, when the darkness seems too great
where the road has faded away to nothing
do not be afraid
for He is there, even then
and will guide you out of that blindness.

and sing, all that is in me
for He beckons
bringing abundant life
and the promise
of a full life.

live deep

the armband has become nearly ubiquitous. a bright yellow circle of promise, with the words "LIVE STRONG" lightly etched into the side. in a way, it's a challenge; the words exhort us to live hard, live well, live with strength and dignity.

great goals to be sure. but what about depth? the words say "live strong," but it says nothing about living deeply, in and beyond the moment. it's fine to rush along on top of the waves of today, but if that's all you do for the rest of your life, can you really say that you've lived life to the fullest? for living to the fullest does not only imply breadth but also depth.

how many of us live deep? have you explored not only the shores of emotion but also the abyss of the soul? have you dared to sit in the solitude of your thoughts and face whatever may come? have you lived not only in the moment but also beyond the moment, with body, mind, and soul? can you say that you grasp the depth of Humanity's nobility, treachery, virtue, and fury, and have seen the same in the dark corners of your soul?

but such is the human condition; to fear what is unknown, to seek the comfortable, and to build a fortress of security around what little we have. let us dare to wade out until we are in over our heads, and when we are there, to find that we are human.

whisper

at first i held the pain in a cage
who would understand?

the world tumbles around me
the human spirit fails
as a once-strong bond of love frays to
nothing
as the circle of trust is broken
as distractions take me off the narrow path
obstacles stand between me and Him
courage fails
where can i turn to?

and i cried out to You
where are You
why do you plunge me through this grief
relentlessly
i know You are there
but i can't feel it

You are the Almighty
save me from this!
this cup is too bitter

but then
a whisper
gentle

I'm here
I know you're calling
haven't I said I'd be there?
stop placing Me out of reach
I want to draw you near
and place you close to my heart
yes I am Lord and Creator

but I am also your Friend.

and I love you.
give me your pain
and i will give you peace.

beauty from pain

why? why is my heart allowed to walk in paths that will only bring hurt? why do my eyes see nothing but futility when there should be love? why do my thoughts flirt with dangerous emotions when all else pulls me away? why am i allowed to walk to the edge and stand at brink of two worlds? why do i feel like i'm falling in between the cracks?

why does it feel so right and yet so wrong? and why can't i make the hard choice? every minute i waver will lead to more brokenness in the end. so why do i sit here and stare into the distance, as if the answer will come over the horizon?

but no. after all this has passed, i still will remain. and after my heart has cried its last, there will be beauty from pain. so God help me, i will look for the dawn.

a full life

people seem to think that a Christian life means limitations, rules, and regulations. that a Christian is inhibited from "living to the fullest." but what is a full life? is it in the so-called "freedom" and carpe diem mentality this world advocates? is it in the existentialist mindset, that you make your own meaning? great goals to be sure, but the thing about this world is that most people simply desire the finite, the things that will come to pass. money, sex, drugs, and power can be just a few of the desired things. but in reality, why do we want these things? we want them because we believe they will make us happy. to have these things for their own sake is nothing; the control, happiness, security, or power we attain from them is everything.

so, when we look at these desires in this light, what can we say but that our desires have been shallow from the beginning? all we seem to want is control of our own lives, and control of our own happiness. and yet we can't help but get this nagging feeling that there is more than this, that we aren't really in control, that the goals stated above are unattainable. so what does God say in response to this? that yes, there is more. yes, there is hope. yes, there is joy and peace for those willing to set their eyes on higher things. we desire happiness and control, but God offers infinite joy and a secure life to us as Children of God, inheritors of the universe.

so maybe i'm mistaken, but i'm going to dare to dream. to look beyond my own security and happiness and see that there is a hope and a life that is full to the brim. the Christian life is not a life of limited desires and timidity, but a life of overflowing passion and bold joy.

nothing to give

you look at me like you want something. like i have something to offer you. but really, do i? look at our lives. do you really think this would work out? look at your life; there are places you go that i cannot and will not go. and i'm not talking about the small things; i've already glossed over those. but the fact that your pleasures and values are so different from mine cannot be erased. and look at my life. there are places i go that you will not. and more than that, my heart is not my own. yes, its been taken already by Him.

i would give you what i could; i care enough about you to want your happiness. but what? we've already talked about the heart. what else? i would give you my eyes and my ears, but they are His too. i would give you my lips, but they are bound to His work. i would give you my body, but it is His temple. and so what is left? only His agape Love. and that is unbounding and endless. but i'm not sure that's what you want.

so here we stand. perhaps you consider me stiff-necked and stubborn. but remember, my life is not my own, to do with as i please. it belongs to something greater. and unless something changes, our paths will forever be parallel, friends to the end, never more.

so Friend, know that i care about you very much and am invested in you. but i cannot give you my heart.